Fancy you stopped in

J Kahele

Without thinking, I raise my hand and slap her across the face. She grasps her cheek and closes her eyes. Oh no, what did I do? I feel regret instantly. I attempt to embrace her, but she pulls away from me and stands. She walks out of the bedroom and to the front door. I rush up to her, standing in front of her.

‘I’m sorry, baby. I—I didn’t mean it,” I stutter. She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. With that look, the look I saw quite often after Ben had hurt her.

“You promised you would never hit me,” she says tearfully. I don’t know what to say or what to do, so I stand there silently. She grasps the doorknob and I place my hand on hers.

“Please, Jenna, don’t leave,” I plead with desperation. She pushes my hand away then opens the door and leaves.

I slide down the door, sitting on the ground. I want to run after her, but I have no right; she had every reason to leave me. I freely raised my hand to her and hit her with the intention of making her feel pain. I am an abuser—like Ben Kramer.

I am unable to sleep the whole night. I lie in the bed, cursing myself out in my head. How could I hit her? The guilt is so fierce and the hurt so deep. I feel like I am in a world of isolation, the word ABUSER stamped on my forehead forever. The sun rises, indicating morning. I slide out of bed and jump into the shower.

I check my cell as soon as I walk out of the bathroom, hoping and praying for a text from Jenna, some indication of how she is feeling. But there is nothing. Purchase book.

Comments

2014-06-26 19:02:37 - Michael
He was right about one thing,he has no right,plus what would stopping her do?Make it 10 times worse.
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